Description This SP represents my distorted body image and how highly critical i am of my physicality and flaws.
My childhood was filled with my mothers cruel, cutting and critical remarks, regarding my appearance, she has never liked the way i look, which is ironic, because i bare such a strong resemblance to her.
My father was equally critical and has always prized physical beauty (along with intelligence). He used to rate men and women, everywhere we would go on a scale of one to ten and sometimes hed even break the score down by body parts, like, Her legs are a ten, her face is a seven type thing.
I think my parents did have a huge impact on my body image and self-esteem. Ive come a long way with both issues but realize i still have a long way to go. It's an ever-evolving journey. Photographing these self portraits continues to be a strangely healing experience for me. That is the beauty of being an adult, i can fashion myself and my life into what i want, need and desire them to be. It wouldn't be wise for me to continue hanging my self-esteem on the opinion of my parents or anyone else, for that matter.
HOW THIS IMAGE WAS CREATED: <I photographed myself against a black background using a digital camera and self-timer shutter release. I then distorted the image by hand in Adobe Photoshop.
About Me: I am a self-taught taught artist that discovered my passion of photography, back in 1995, while writing my first book, Haunting Hands. A book initially intended to be a collection of poems i had written about surviving a difficult childhood. I decided it would feel more personal if i created the cover for the book myself. Shortly thereafter, i purchased a camera and turned my living room into a makeshift studio. I did a series of self-portraits and then another and another. The process of creating and putting myself in front of the camera felt cathartic, liberating and healing. The photographic medium opened up a new world to me and ignited a kind of passion within that i didn’t even know i was capable of experiencing. My book transformed into a, survivor-orientated, photographic essay and that started me down the path to becoming a photographic artist.
ANSWER TO THE MOST FAQ EVER: Are your self-portraits, self-portraits? YES! I don't consider a self-portrait to be TRULY a self-portrait unless i take the picture of myself, by myself. It's not easy to chase oneself around with the camera, LOL. But that's what i do. I use a digital camera, utilizing the self-timer mode. Sometimes i get the shot i want on the first shot or first few frames and other times it takes me 100s of pictures to get the shot i want.
WHY do you create? . . . because imagery, poetry and words can offer us a feeling, an experience and the magical gift of transport. I want my imagery to give people a way to express themselves, to offer them a moment of magic and wonder, I want to ignite the imagination, emotions and give people a sense of connection. Learn more about my creative process via the Q & A page of my website: http://www.redbubble.com/people/jaedadewalt/journal/694520-q-and-a-with-jaeda.
BRIEF BIO: I have produced cover art for books, playbills, collective fine art books and have had my work exhibited in New York, including the Hofstra Museum. In 2009 i published, Shades of the Soul an artography book featuring my art and poetry. You can preview my book, here: http://www.blurb.com/bookstore/detail/625673