Imagekind Gallery TheSecretSatellite

The Secret Satellite Mail Order Flyer #1

A Mail Order Company Dedicated Entirely to Your Successful Lifestyle. Amazing First Public Edition Previously Only Available to the Rich and Powerful This Month's Featured Item: Happiness for only $14.95 / Month Other inappropriate feelings also available: Anger, Satisfaction, Peace of Mind, Fear, Sadness, Elation, Regret Be Happy Now!!!

The Secret Satellite Mail Order Flyer #2

A Mail Order Company Dedicated Entirely to Your Successful Lifestyle. This Month's Featured Item: The Discombobulator Labor unions got you down? Is your pocket book getting smaller while your employees seem fatter, jovial, and sometimes even content?! Does your wife secretly think you are a spineless coward? Do your peers mock you for losing profits to uneducated, swarthy, inarticulate, "hard working" drones? DON'T GIVE UP! Buy the DISCOMBOBULATOR today! This classic tool has been used to get the upper hand in union negotiations and employee contracts for over fifty years. Just attach it to any contract and turn it on. Then watch in amusement as your adversaries falter, wither, and sign on the dotted line! Only $149 Thousand

The Secret Satellite Mail Order Flyer #3

A Mail Order Company Dedicated Entirely to Your Successful Lifestyle. This Month's Featured Item: Talking Head Armies Put your favorite politicians in office! Help create an ignorant society! Help promote consumer "need" Manufacture public outrage just for fun! starting at only $49 Million Be Happy Now!!!

The Secret Satellite Mail Order Flyer #4

A Mail Order Company Dedicated Entirely to Your Successful Lifestyle. This Month's Featured Item: The Joneses Does your citizenry seem to be enjoying life too much? Does your public operate with a spirit of cooperation and peace of mind? Have their spending habits slowed, leaving you with diminished profits and angry shareholders? If so, we have the perfect solution: THE JONESES- Plant these upwardly mobile and "successful" social units in your neighborhoods today and renew the spirit of greed and competition for generations to come! As low as $35 Thousand Be Happy Now!!!

The Secret Satellite Mail Order Flyer #5

A Mail Order Company Dedicated Entirely to Your Successful Lifestyle. This Month's Featured Item: Circus Trainers Get your local rat race in high gear with our highly skilled Circus Trainers. Works on rats, dogs, work horses and other vermin. Your rats will work harder, faster, and for less pay. Teach old dogs new tricks! Including our newest, most popular tricks - "Roll Over and Die" and "Sit Down and Get to Work". Starting at just $25 Thousand Be Happy Now!!!

The Secret Satellite Mail Order Flyer #6

A Mail Order Company Dedicated Entirely to Your Successful Lifestyle. This Month's Featured Item: The Social Disintegrator Stop losing profits to tightly knit communities now! Our data shows that these groups of peons are SHARING your products! Stop this dangerous activity now with our new Social Disintegrator. Break up homes, families, religious groups, and local governments today! Why let them buy one when you can make them buy two? Divide and Conquer: It's good in war. It's good in peace. And it's good for the economy. $150 Thousand Be Happy Now!!!

The Secret Satellite Mail Order Flyer #7

A Mail Order Company Dedicated Entirely to Your Successful Lifestyle. This Month's Featured Item: Laughing Hyenas The best corporate watchdogs money can buy! How often do your “friends” in high places forget about the favors they owe you? How many times have you wasted your petty cash on silly, underling politicians who can’t get their heads around the economic benefits of toxic waste and slave labor? If you are tired of these pissants impeding your quest for global dominance then you will definitely want to purchase one of our finely tuned corporate watchdogs, The Laughing Hyenas. We promise that our Laughing Hyenas will consider any complaint or legal action against you as not only ridiculous but more importantly LAUGHABLE! Try one today! $150 Thousand Be Happy Now!!!

The Secret Satellite Mail Order Flyer #8

A Mail Order Company Dedicated Entirely to Your Successful Lifestyle. This Month's Featured Item: The Judge and Jury When the ignorant masses are acting up don't appease them. Put them where they belong! We guarantee a 99% conviction rate. Guilt or innocence does not matter! This product is also excellent for dodging corporate fines. Just $3 Million Be Happy Now!!!

The Secret Satellite Mail Order Flyer #9

A Mail Order Company Dedicated Entirely to Your Successful Lifestyle. This Month's Featured Item: Candy Factories Do you need a new product to sell? Do you need inexpensive, desperate workers to make your new product? If so, please consider our highly efficient, overseas Candy Factories. Our factories are built specifically to get the utmost effort out of our laborers while you reap the huge financial benefits of their miserable toil. What's even better is that our candy is perfect for keeping your own peasants' mental functioning to a minimum. It is truly the perfect product: No high priced domestic labor. Highly profitable. Helps keep the peons stupid. Buy Now!!! Just 8 cents an hour Be Happy Now!!!

The Secret Satellite Mail Order Flyer #10

A Mail Order Company Dedicated Entirely to Your Successful Lifestyle. This Month's Featured Item: Blind Ambition Kits Today's low price 1 peon per kit Don't let your working class settle for the simple "comforts" of family and friends. Give them something worthwhile to strive for! Our new Blind Ambition Kits are just the right thing to motivate your lazy citizenry into a frenzy of hard work. This product is perfect for today's busy billionaires, politicians, and media moguls who want to increase their revenues and market share. Each kit contains a bounty of rotten carrots and a very stylish set of blinders that your peons will love. Be Happy Now!!!

The Secret Satellite Mail Order Flyer #11

This month's featured item: Flying Inadequators From $500 to $3,000,000 This month we have yet another impressive device to help keep your peasants' money trickling straight up and into your pockets: Our Flying Inadequators are the perfect device to create unbridled, out of control purchasing of your completely unnecessary products. Not only are these insects beautiful and easily accepted into the silly minds of your peons, but they can sting and bite, infecting your populace with any mental disease you desire. Each one of these gorgeous bugs comes with a full dose of our patented URlame formula, sure to get the little people nervous about every one of their "problems".

The Secret Satellite Mail Order Flyer #12

This Month's Featured Item: Zombie School Starting at only $2 Million Is your local labor pool uninterested in the carefree lifestyles of homelessness and tuberculosis? Do they not understand their inherent worthlessness, forcing you to hire off-shore peasants who know their place? Have they abandoned your amazing generosity in favor of an "education"? Well say NO MORE to this madness! Ensure yourself a loyal and unquestioning pool of grunts and drones for years to come by installing our new Zombie Schools in your neighborhoods today! Replace your over-achieving high schools and colleges with these run down, under-performing, outhouses now! Each school comes complete with a 500 channel television for every student.