Description This SP was inspired by a mother/child sculpture gift i received from a friend. I felt a connection to this sculpture on a sorrowful level for many complicated reasons. The main reason being having never experienced a loving or nurturing bond with my mother.
She had a traumatic childhood and never found her way through, her development was arrested. I never got the sense that she loved herself or had a healthy sense of self-esteem. So how could i expect her to love me, when she never found a way to love herself?
It is not my mother i long for, we never connected. But from time-to-time, when the holidays and birthdays come round, i do long for a mother figure to come home to, a safe sanctuary of love and acceptance. In the absence of that love, ive learned to create a safe sanctuary within and have a few precious friends, with whom, i am blessed to share a loving and nurturing bond.
It is wonderful to have a source of unconditional love, we all crave it but ultimately we need to already have that for ourselves, within ourselves, that we may give and receive love from a place of pure love and abundance.
Creating this portrait helped me work through my mother issues and properly grieve for something i always yearned for but never had
On a positive note, my mother was a classy and elegant beauty. She taught me to be polite, she taught me manners and how to carry myself with grace. She kept a meticulously clean house and spent a lot of time doing crochet, and needlepoint, she was very good at it. She also made the best cakes and pies. She was a very talented with baking and desserts. Do to her own issues she didnt like me but she still made sure i was clothed, fed and educated. She gave me life and i will be forever grateful for that.
About Me: I am a self-taught taught artist that discovered my passion of photography, back in 1995, while writing my first book, Haunting Hands. A book initially intended to be a collection of poems i had written about surviving a difficult childhood. I decided it would feel more personal if i created the cover for the book myself. Shortly thereafter, i purchased a camera and turned my living room into a makeshift studio. I did a series of self-portraits and then another and another. The process of creating and putting myself in front of the camera felt cathartic, liberating and healing. The photographic medium opened up a new world to me and ignited a kind of passion within that i didn’t even know i was capable of experiencing. My book transformed into a, survivor-orientated, photographic essay and that started me down the path to becoming a photographic artist.
ANSWER TO THE MOST FAQ EVER: Are your self-portraits, self-portraits? YES! I don't consider a self-portrait to be TRULY a self-portrait unless i take the picture of myself, by myself. It's not easy to chase oneself around with the camera, LOL. But that's what i do. I use a digital camera, utilizing the self-timer mode. Sometimes i get the shot i want on the first shot or first few frames and other times it takes me 100s of pictures to get the shot i want.
WHY do you create? . . . because imagery, poetry and words can offer us a feeling, an experience and the magical gift of transport. I want my imagery to give people a way to express themselves, to offer them a moment of magic and wonder, I want to ignite the imagination, emotions and give people a sense of connection. Learn more about my creative process via the Q & A page of my website: http://www.redbubble.com/people/jaedadewalt/journal/694520-q-and-a-with-jaeda.
BRIEF BIO: I have produced cover art for books, playbills, collective fine art books and have had my work exhibited in New York, including the Hofstra Museum. In 2009 i published, Shades of the Soul an artography book featuring my art and poetry. You can preview my book, here: http://www.blurb.com/bookstore/detail/625673